In reviewing the posts after mine, I had a thought that I find is somewhat fasinating. I could be wrong, of course, but we could think about this and toss it around. Do you all think that the people (women especially) who are very affectionate and need affection as their primary LL, are the ones who are so quick to come out with the "I'm sorry"? I have thought about this and it seems the ones that I know personally are that way. Now, I realize that physical affection is not my LL and so I get upset when women "ask" their H's for a hug! I really do! B/c I want them to have more "spunk" and backbone and tell their H's where they can put that hug! However, I realize that everyone in the world is not like I am (thank goodness) and therefore they do not see things from my eyes. I do find it rather odd that the people I know who are so fast to want to make their S comfortable, happy, or whatever and they are very quick to lavish them with compliments and try to stay on the good side of them.......are always the ones that are soooo quick to say, "I'm sorry" even if they have done nothing. The H can just come home in a bad mood and the W starts saying "I'm sorry" trying to get him to mellow out a little bit. I suppose I have seen this in cases that were very close to being called "abusive" until it just does something to me. But, I am not declaring that all are abusive.....not at all! I think most of it is the personality of one spouse and then the other spouse begins to take advantage of it. I also believe that others around them will do the same. Not to offend anyone....please know that I do not mean this in an offensive way at all but to try to put in a picture of how I think some people see "I'm sorry" people......is like a puppy dog that follows along after them trying to lick them to show affection and hoping that the "master" will take time to pat their head. I apologize if that made any of you mad. But I hope that you will think about it.

Maybe we can think of words to say instead of "I'm sorry". I have notice that nearly all of us greet a new poster by saying, "I'm sorry you are here". I could express it a different way and still show our concern. I would like to talk more about this, but have to run. Maybe later.

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!