Is she cheating??? Please respond!!

[sandycay]

You said:

What do I do about her indecisiveness regarding the D (well not that she's changing her mind, but that she just hasn't done it yet)?


Hello... that is a decision, she has decided to not move forward yet. I'll bet you a hundred bucks though if you keep on hounding on that issue it will happen a lot faster than you want. Don't talk about it at all. You ask what should you do.... we have answered that, now do it. One day at a time.

I do want to say this however, making mistakes in our lives does not make us un-christian. The 10 commandments is not a top ten list. No sins are better or worse than others. I am sure we have all broken 1 or more of the the commandements in our lifetime.

This is what saved me from coming across as needy and wimpy during my seperation and forced me to shut up the relationship talk with my H. I always envisioned that when he was talking to OW it was always fun and lighthearted and if every time he talked to me it was about:

1) the kids missing him
2) me missing him
3) begging him to think about it
4) pleading him to come home
5) can you fix this at the house, it's broken
6) do you want to come to dinner
7) how can you throw it all away
8) You get the point

So, I became a guilt free, everything is going well, happy, independant,validating, smile and wave, supportive, non-relationship talking, boundary having person.

Do you get that? It's the hardest thing I have ever done. I cried many times after our interactions. I never let him see it or hear it after my initail persuing. I didn't sleep or eat for months. But every morning I got up. put my face on, and stopped worrying about tomorrow. I lived from hour to hour, minute to minute sometimes. Guess what? Me and the OW must have switched places..... From what he told me once we were back together... She finally told him one day (while they were together).... I am in the soup with Sandycay.... which meant she's heard enough about me..... seems I was the topic of conversation quite a bit. He never seemed to pay any attention to me about what I was doing but he sure was talking to her about it. I did 180's. Shake it up a bit.