Quit reading that crap between your W and OM and move on. You need to become unavailable. I guess we truly got the sense of things. I wonder if her "coming back" to you, was basically what got OM interested again. Doesn't matter, that relationship is going nowhere, and hopefully, the one between you and your wife won't be going anywhere for the foreseeable future. I'm sorry...I know it has to hurt. But you can't keep scratching that itch by looking at their correspondence.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer