I have already given you advice on your Newcomers thread; did you read up on self-esteem and boundary-setting/enforcement yet?
You keep seeming to want to know "why" . . . this is a cheeseless tunnel. Why do terrorists kill innocent people? Why do bullies pick on weak victims?
It is what it is; we are sinful, and it is human nature to lust and to want what makes us feel good. I'd like to see you focus less on the "why?/woe-is-me" stuff, and concentrate on learning about boundary-setting, and about affairs, and come up with a gameplan for working on CRAFIDI, and leave your wife to her own devices.
