Hi, justwaitn! Thanks so much for the support. I know how hard it is to hang onto a PMA, and I'm frankly surprised and delighted by the turn things have taken for me. I'll pray for you, hun, and hope for nothing but the best for you.
Detaching and the whole distant friendship thing is terribly difficult. I still struggle with my sitch, trying to figure out the right blend of caring and detachment. It's tough considering the history I have with my H, so I just keep asking God for guidance and trying my best to listen to for His word in my heart instead of in my head.
I think losing our friendship scares my H as well. This weekend, I could see that he was struggling. Some part of him is probably hoping that he can have his best friend, have our sexual relationship, and still have that independent life where he finds himself - which I think is more about running from something than finding anything. I don't regret ML with my H this weekend. I think it made him think more and made him feel conflicted - not to mention I enjoyed it, and I know that it strengthened the connection. Now to not do that again.....
Losing that friendship connection is terrifying. When H asked for space from me, I panicked. Now that I'm giving a little more space, he's not liking it. Funny how these things work.
Thanks for your support, and I hope for nothing but the best for you and your H.
