I am so lost and confused. My W and I have known each other since we were 13 (we're now 30), we've been best friends ever since and have been married 10 yrs. We have a 4 yr old daughter. Six months ago my wife said she wanted a sep. I moved out for a week, she said she missed me and wanted me back home, but when I returned she began to say she wasn't comfortable with any physical contact with me. I began to see a lot of changes in her behavior, and my suspicions led me to look at her texts. There were many texts, but I could only read 2 before breakind down. They were from her to a male co-worker, and they said "I really like you, but you really hurt me" and the other said "Everytime I try to get closer to you, you pull that I'm having a bad day crap. I'm really getting sick of that." I confronted my W and she denied that there was anything wrong with those texts. I also began to check the cell account and saw that she was texting/calling this guy all throughout the night for long periods of time. I also saw a note she had written asking if the guy was "playing hard to get" and "if he was in a serious relationship." She also said that her thoughts were "consumed" with him. Phone calls never ended. She just ended up opening her own private cell account. For about a two months from Aug to October, she began acting like things were good between us again. We even bought our first house together. A week after moving in I saw her online with him and he had wrote something to her that said "loving you" and her response was "everything is not as it seems." I confronted her and she refused to show me the message, said she didn't care what I thought, and said she was getting a divorce. She moved out a week later. This is, of course, a condensed version of the story. There are other less obvious signs that she is cheating. She refuses to even work on the relationship. This is what's most troubling to me. We once loved each other very, very much. We were virgins when we got married, we're both Christians (at least she says she is), and I just can't understand why she would want to throw all of this away so quickly. Is this the biggest sign of all that she's having an affair? How can I ever know the truth? She won't admit to ANYTHING!! It is driving me absolutely crazy, I just don't know what to do anymore. Please help!! What should I be looking for? Am I just ignoring what's right in front of me?
