Another Wife Hit By The Bomb #4

[Tawnya]

Journaling: Last night just continued to be a stinky stinky night for me, as you could see, it was like 12:30 at night and I'm just crying my eyes out, seriously a panic attack, which I get occasionally, stood outside for a few minutes in the cold just to be in a different environment, look up at the stars, and pray for a few.

I really was having a "stupid vulnerable" night for no reason, and I came in with the intention of going downstairs to my hub and asking him for a hug, nothing more, no expectations, just a piece of human contact..BEFORE you get out the 2 x 4's..don't worry..I got them out on myself..and THANKFULLY he was asleep..so I didn't talk to him and just went back upstairs..

Sigh..I'm better today, but still feeling a bit "down"..I should have a good day tho once I get out and get started..going to take daughter to look at cars..she turns 18 in a month and she's been driving an OLD 1991 Explorer with a bajillion miles, and a friend of ours owns a car dealer place and I may be able to get her a "newer used" car, like a little Kia Rio or Spectra for around $200 a month or something..which would be do-able..talked to daughter and asked if she was serious about having it that she would possibly pay half..so..we'll see..haven't even told hub about that one..since he's separating the money..whatever..my daughter and I could just do it anyway

PS: I'd still love some thoughts on my convo with my hub I had last night, about the respect issues and about my asking him stuff about moving..do you think I came across like a clingy dork or at least decently strong about the moving with the dog part and asking for some respect?

THANKS!

Tawnya