{{Sandi}} By the way..just posted a thank you on MY thread about the I'm sorry thing..so, even tho you wrote it for Kristi and put it here, I don't think it was an accident, cause GIRL..I caught myself doing it like 100 times this weekend and I was like "UGH" every time..I need to thump myself big time!
Hey Sweetie, I'm glad that you notice this in yourself b/c I believe it gets to be such a habit that you don't realize how much you are saying it. My sweet DIL says it a lot and it drives my son crazy. By wearing the rubberband around your wrist, it will make you more concious of saying "I'm sorry" and start saying "excuse me" if you have accidently bumped into another person.....or some other words (depending on the circumstances), but try not saying "I'm sorry". Save the "I'm sorry" for very serious times when you have hurt someone or done something really bad. I think it was LHS that asked what was so wrong in saying "I'm sorry" when you bumped into another person while shopping in a store, for an example. It is just a way of trying to build your self esteem and everytime you say that you are sorry for every tiny move you make or every little word you say wrong......it pulls you down emotionally and mentally. You may not realize it, but it does. And, I'll tell you another part to that.....people will begin to think less of you or disrespect you just a little bit b/c you are always so quick to take the blame by saying "I'm sorry". It is as if you are telling people, "Okay, I'm not worth very much, so go ahead and think less of me b/c I always take the blame wheather it is my fault or not. I expect everyone to think I am to blame so I go ahead and tell them "Im sorry" b/c I expect them to wipe their feet on me." It is almost as if you are giving people an excuse to kick you in the rear for the smallest thing. How much sense does that make? But think about it......the affects over a long period of time.
Now that is kind of dramatic in how I put that but I can't think of anything else this early in the morning. Anyway, by saying "excuse me", you are keeping your self respect, your self esteem and you go on and not beat yourself up. The other person has more respect for you as well and they think no more about it. This all can happen in a matter of a few seconds. However, if you handle it in a incorrect way by saying that you are sorry, it builds up over a lifetime of "I'm sorry" and it does affect you physologically (excuse me, I can't spell this morning). (I almost said, "Sorry, I can't spell this morning".) (See what a habit it can become?) Just try it and see if it is not a baby step in making you feel better about yourself. I can't give all the in's and out's about it like a phys doctor could, but I know and have seen that it does affect a person's self esteem over years of doing this. When it is carried over into the MR.....and it always is.....then the "I'm sorry" person takes the blame for everything b/c they are constantly there saying, "I'm sorry" for whatever the issue may be. I promise you that the spouse will not have as much respect for you when you are there ready to be the doormat and soooooooo ready to say I'm sorry and take the blame. That is what you are doing when you say that. So, make that a project and see what happens this week. I would be interested in knowing how it works for you, LHS, and Kristi, and anyone else that has that habit. I will keep tabs on myself as well and see how I do....okay?
Got to go. Check on you later.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
