I can identify with a lot of what you two are saying. I have had to fight depression and weight since I was a teenager. My H would tell me the same thing as you tell your W, Sam. However, when I did lose a lot of weight, I could tell he was excited and could hardly keep his hands off of me. I have never lost it as quickly as your W did, therefore I would tend to think that it would affect her mental and emotional part as much as the physcial part. You are doing right, I think, by continuing to tell her how good she looks, but if you can work it in occassionly, I would throw in that you have always thought she looked good b/c you were attracted to who she was on the inside as much if not more than the girl on the outside. I know her LL is words of affirmation and she needs that from somebody. Whoever gives it to her will be the one she will want to hang around with b/c it feeds her ego. I wonder though if you pulled back just a little with the compliments.....what would she do? Have you tried that? It's like it doesn't mean as much coming from you b/c you are her H. If she hears it from somebody else, then she is more convinced and it means more b/c she knows they didn't have to say it, etc. It is hard to explain on paper what I am trying to say. She was already having a lot of issues about her body image and the fast weight loss has compounded those issued in my opinion. The thing is, if the doctor takes her off the medication, she will gain it all back. Then what will she do? I am sure her doctor has realized the weight loss and if he is what he should be, he should get suspicious of why she is taking it. I have not heard of anyone taking that everyday. Does she take it everyday? I don't know how it would make her lose weigt unless it was everyday.
Anyway, the holidays is a wonderful time to show off your best side, as far as your looks are concerned. So, to you and LHS, take advantage of doing that. If you have a party or anywhere to go and know your S will see you at any part of the event....before, after, or during.......knock 'em out with your outfit and yes, how good you smell! If you don't want to buy new clothes right now, you can have your old ones alterated by a seamstress. Having clothes too big on you is not very attractive either. Although, it is better than seeing rolls and bulges.
Well, I don't think I gave much advice or said what you were looking for Sam, but all you can do at this point is wait for her to try to work through a lot of stuff that she is going through. I understand how she feels about "ML to her brother" and it is not something she wants to feel. It is very frustrating. I could go on, but I need to get ready for work. I will check on you laters.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
