So sorry sweetie. I would continue not saying the ILY's - they miss it when it's gone, and it sounds like it would be a 180 for you.
Now as I see it, there are two directions to go here: 1) he knows you are patiently waiting and he can dither around trying to decide if he wants you or not. 2) you start to get him wondering about where you are and who you're with and starts to think "oh my god, what did I do by divorcing her" and starts pursuing you.
Doesn't that second option sound better?
I will try to find for you a link to a thread by CarolKH where she describes how giving the "appearance of dating" brought her H back after a 16 mo. separation. I'm not talking about actually dating - just going out, being a little mysterious about where and with whom, not answering all of his calls, etc.
