WAW has been home for 19 weeks now

[GH31]

On Monday 12/01/2008 OM came to my house to get some personal effects back off my W. He apparently verbally abused her for about 2 minutes and said some very mean things, then left. An email which I read from my W to him afterwards confirms this.

I am extremely confused and perplexed.

W and and spent the entire weekend together. Literally, we were hardly out of each other's site.

We did all of our Christmas shopping, went out together in the city and made love on both days.

Then I intercepted her email account and discovered more contact with OM - emails sent today. He still wants her to go back to England to be with him, and she said she will (she has been telling him that for over half a year); in fact OM told his family that W said she would be coing back for Christmas. However, this weekend W and I have been looking at Christmas gifts together, and all cards have been signed from us both.

Then in the last email OM said he is heartbroken and really upset that she hasn't kicked me to the kerb yet. He then asked W not to contact him again saying that the situation has to end one way or another - it's better that she just shows up.

But what is so confusing is that she wants to hang around with me so much, wants sex, seems perfectly happy to have my child, wants to film me for a part in a short film that she's doing, was disappointed when my job offer in Europe fell through last week and the rest of it. In literally every respect she wants me to be a husband to her - not just for financial support (she's capable of that herself) but for conversation, sex, hanging out, doing fun things together, all family functions etc.

If she is planning to leave me then she's making life hard for herself. I just don't know what to do with her. I don't want to get a divorce - she was never this way before her affair - but this arrangement just won't do. The trouble is if I leave, I am quite sure I will never see her again. She'll run off to OM on the other side of the world and that will be that. She might want to try again later but that isn't something I can rely on and I don't think I can go through this DBing thing again.

But what really bothers me is she will not wear her wedding ring and hasn't told me she loves me in nearly a year. This is still a very deranged mess.

I have not made her aware that I have access to her email and I have not threatened her with anything.