It's Complicated!

[plentyhope]

GG,
I agree with MWG about the enemy prowling. He sees that you are close so he is trying to get you to quit. Don't buy it.

You are alot closer than many of us here. Keep praying for strength to get through this. Praying for you too.

Did you see my post to you on my thread? You might find "The Power of a Woman's Words" by Sharon Jaynes very helpful.

Hugs, PH

[glamgirl]

Ok on Saturday h came over. I did mention to him if he got my messages he said no. He seemed suprised that I had called. I had invited him to dinner on Friday evening with us, but he didn't get the messages.

Now I wasn't in the best of moods, I think the enemy is on attack. H said Glam you are in a pissy mood. It was showing. I said sorry h, didn't mean to be in that kind of a mood or that it was showing.

He said what is wrong. Ok I didn't want to open the door and say h you are what's wrong. What do you think, we live apart and it's not ok. I wasn't going to go there, since it wouldn't be fair to launch that on my h. I just mentioned a few things that were bothering me.

H suggested he could take the kids and just leave. Meaning let me be in my mood and he would come back later. I said not necessary, that I would try to snap out of it.

Part of it I was having a pity party for myself, so I jumped into making us lunch and cleaning up a little and focused on what I did have.

Then I researched some Christmas Tree farms and found one to go pick out our tree. H and I took a nap on the couch before we left. H seems to sleep an awful lot.

I finally woke him up and said h if we want to get the tree we better go now, since it closes at 5pm.

We headed out. Picked out a really nice tree and cut it down ourselves. It was a cool farm with a lake, ducks, and Santa was visiting with his sleigh. A very nice Santa might I ad.

The kids had a great time. We then came home decorated the tree and made some hot chocolate and listened to Christmas Carols. It was nice. I do have to admit though that I really wasn't much in the spirit. I used to love to decorate the whole house, now I just put a few things up and call it a holiday.

It's called simplifying the holidays. Then h took us out for a late dinner in his car.

He is going out of town on Sunday, so when he left he said I will call you tomorrow. Gave me a nice hug and kiss goodbye.

[glamgirl]

H called today while I was at work and was very nice. Talked about his day and how well the car drove. Funny my h left the trunk open and it rained in the car.

I said h that sounds like a Glam move. H seems so forgetful these days.

I was a bit bold and said h we are going to need to set some time aside to work on our sex life. I said h I have needs that aren't being met. I know a little bold, but boy once every 2 months is a bit lacking since when I m h is was a nightly kind of guy.

He did mention the stress, being sick and the AD's affecting his drive. He said he would like to go off the AD's. I have NO experience with this and if it would be a good idea. We are hoping he won't be on them forever, but I think he needs to get into more of a routine, exercise, eating healthy, and maybe moving home before we make the decision to stop them. He seems so much better since he is on them, don't want to mess up a good thing.

We talked for awhile and then h said he would call me when he is on his return from the day.

I wasn't feeling the greatest today. As soon as I got home from work I put my jammies on and jumped into bed. Sometimes I really like not having my h over. I know that sounds weird, since my goal is to bring him home, but when he is here, he is always saying do this and that. Like Glam do the dishes, start the next load of laundry, fix dinner etc. H has always been like this. It can be daunting at times, so I had a much needed break today.

[glamgirl]

H just called again. Let me know how his day went. He said he would be over on Monday and that he would get the kids from school. This will be a big help for me, since all I need to do then is come home from work and make dinner.

Thanks BM for the encouragement. Praying always helps me out.

Naej thanks for posting and giving good advice. It is always nice to hear another perspective.

MWG and PH the enemy is on attack. It always amazes me how the enemy just sneeks in and captivates my thoughts then I go down this negative path rather than celebrating all that h and I have accomplished.

It was only a mere year ago that we went to our first mc and h said I am only here because Glam asked me and that all I want is us to be able to communicate for the kids sake. I do not believe h was interested in reconciliation a year ago. This is not something I ask him, but by his actions I do think he feels like we could possibly work. He does seem to think more of us as a couple rather than me me me.

H said he missed me today when he ended the call. I do want to believe that one day he will return home where he belongs.

[glamgirl]

Thanks PH for this: You might find "The Power of a Woman's Words" by Sharon Jaynes very helpful.

I will look that book up.

[MidwesternGirl]

I think you just get to a point where you just need a break, you want to scream, you feel cheated that your family is torn apart, that not many people you know have a life like this, and you also feel tired from being a mom and dad to your kids!

I think your H may slowly see that you have taken on so much since he has been gone.

I am glad he is helping you out by getting the kids or taking you all out to a meal.

[plentyhope]

GG,

Yes, I am being attacked too by the enemy. He seems to know just when to attack and how.

I am glad your H has been so supportive this weekend. The intimacy thing is related to his AD. I agree with you that the AD are helping him stay on an even keel for his job, your M, etc. for now. Probably shouldn't change that until things have settled down significantly, i.e. to a point where you are comfortable with your h being back at home, etc.

I hope you like that book.

[Truelove]

Hi glamgirl,
Thinking of you. - So your H is missing you? That is a good sign. I will keep my fingers crossed that your sitch will improve. Take care. (((HUGS)))

[glamgirl]

Thanks TL. H called earlier today and said what can we work out for getting s7 afterschool. That means I can't be at the house when he gets home can you. It just so happens I was going to send h an e-mail and say that I had him covered.

I left my work early today. Not feeling well again. Hope is passes quickly. It seems so peaceful to be home with NOT a soul around. I love the kids, but time away from them is good too.

I did ask h to pick up d4 and fix dinner for the kids. He hasn't responded yet, but hopefully it won't be an issue.

I am going to go back to bed and just rest after s7 arrives home.

Check in later!

[Maya44]

Feel better dearie!