Alex - thanks, I really no longer have any desire to reach out to him. The silence with which my attempts have been met hurt too much. I truly just did not want him to miss the appointment.
JWM - no kidding about staying in the present. Thanks for that reminder. Got to get back to the present. (That sounds funny, doesn't it?)
{{Beth}} You know, I totally know what you are talking about with feeling like "what the heck, all I'm doing is trying to make a phone call to my husband" and you have to work up nerve and try to sound happy..LOL..when I told a friend of mine that WAY back when this started, she goes, "but he's still your husband" and I"m like, 'yeah..BUT"..LOL..I have thought many a time how RIDICULOUS it is that I have to THINK and work myself up to call him to ask him something that otherwise would have been a breeze LOL!
Well..the only reason I had the "good sense" to have my meltdown at home is that they weren't really having me hang the curtain rod at Walmart..otherwise, I probably would have had the same reaction
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Hey, Beth! I just wanted to pop in and offer a *hug* and say that I thought of you and your sitch this weekend. I know how hard it is to detach, and his health sitch doesn't make things easier. You have a great heart, so I know it's got to really, really hurt.
I wish I had some advice, but unfortunately I don't. I'll remember you in my prayers and hope that you have a happy week full of fun and lightness.
Beth, wanted to say that you did the right thing in calling your H about the appointment. If he has chest pain and missed the appointment, that would not be good. At least you did everything you could even though it was emotionally painful for you.
I ran a cardio-pulmonary department for many years. The biggest problem most men have is making the first appointment. The AHA says the first symptom of heart disease is denial of the warning signs.
Nasmat - thanks for checking on me and keeping me in your thoughts. That means a lot.
Tawyna - you are such a constant in this place. Cannot tell you how much I appreciate that.
JWM - thank you for telling me that. When H told me back in October that the chest pains were occurring at rest and the pain radiated into his arm, it was all I could do not to freak out and scare him off. He asked me to help him find some doctors, so I did. Instead he seems to be going back to our internist, but that is his business. I am no doctor, but I am also no idiot. When I saw him looking like he did 3 weeks ago, I became even mpre concerned. My guess is that it might be stress-induced angina. But what do I know? Like you said, I am just glad the man took the step to make an appointment.
I am glad, for his sake that this doc has seen H several times. I would hope when he gets a look at him and sees the drastic weight change the doc will say something. Again, not my business but, of course, I am concerned.
I reread what I wrote and it came across as more harsh than I intended it to sound. My point was more generic in that you need to make sure you know your own motives when calling or reaching out.
But, you did do right thing and I agree with JWM:
Quote:
Beth, wanted to say that you did the right thing in calling your H about the appointment. If he has chest pain and missed the appointment, that would not be good. At least you did everything you could even though it was emotionally painful for you.
-AlexEN
New: What a Weekend
H-48 WAW-49 M-22 S-14,9 D-11 EA disc.-11/07 PA disc.-3/08 EA2?-6/08 to ?
I did not take your comments to be harsh, not at all. But thank you for your concern.
Also, if you ever feel I need to get a 2x4 then you should hit me with it.
After the things H, in his state has said to me, I can take anything. Nothing will ever hurt as much as him saying things like, "I have left you." "I don't think I am in love with you." "You made me unhappy." All that has helped to toughen me right up.
