Frank, I am sorry you are dealing w/ all of these emotions. I do believe that you are right in setting boundaries w/ your wife, especially concerning her coming into the house.
Your Church sermon sounds right on track. I firmly believe that God will get you through this. HE hears our prayers and HE answers them...it just may not always be the way WE want HIM to. But, HE knows what is best for us....HE knows what the future holds for us.
When my exH first left home, I was devastated. I felt so low about myself. I did not believe that ANYONE could EVER want or love me. With the help of my pastor and my friends, I realized that while there were things I could have done differently in my marriage...there were lots of things my exH could have done differently as well. I finally came to understand that I HAD to give my marriage to God and let him have control of it. Once I did this, I felt such a tremendous peace and I was able to begin moving forward w/ my life. It was then that I was also able to look at my marriage w/ a new (and more accurate) point of view. Wow!
It was not long after this that God brought Bill into my life. And, you know the rest. God has blessed me w/ a wonderful, caring man and two new "bonus-sons"! I am happier than I have ever been! But, my happiness doesn't just come from Bill and my family....my happiness comes from within, as well.
As your subject title states....we all have to learn to let go of our fears. We have to learn to give our troubles to God...leave them w/ HIM...and trust HIM to do what is best for us.
Frank, I wish you nothing but the best! Please stop being so hard on yourself. Yes, there are things you could have done differently; but, there are also things your wife could have done differently. The important thing is that you are able to see those things, learn from them, and not repeat them in your next relationship, whether that is w/ your wife or someone else.
