It's Tx Mom.. 2nd thread.. trying to hold on...

[sandycay]

Tx Mom,

While I am not going to sit here and say everything will turn out the way you want in your marriage, I do want to say something to you.

My H always put us first too. He was a great dad. Then I noticed changes in his patience level with all of us. Whatever the reason for all this doesn't really play into what I want to tell you.

I had the same thoughts as you ...once seperated my husband seemed to not care a lot about the kids at all either. I couldn't believe it. Hurt me but don't hurt my kids you know. At first, he wouldn't take them to his place but eventually I wouldn't let him stay here with them either. You can read back into some of my post as to how things started changing (not immediatley) once I started this " this is how divorce looks". Now, some of that pi@@ed him off really bad. Like I changed the garage code so he didn't have access to "his" boat. Hmm thought it was ours but whatever.... All I asked of him was to give me a few hours notice and I will make sure he has access...well he must have thought I was all talk because the first time he went to the garage to get it and couldnt' get in....I got an ear full.

"Your holding my boat hostage, blah, blah blah." I was calm and restated my boundaries and told him if he wanted me to have access to his apartment and give me a key I would be happy to give him his key back and change the code back. Well, please I really think that was the first time he really got it. It's not his house anymore. ( He was paying for everything still and never threw that in my face). I said why do you deserve privacy and I don't. Look of shock on his face was priceless.

Anyway, I diverted from my original thought as usual. I was trying to say even though this H of yours seems like someone you've never known...there is hope there. My alien H was delivered from the mother ship and although it shocked me that he did want to come back to the marriage. I just wanted you to know it's possible. My H's OW was younger too.