Todays topic at church was about finality, and how God will make a way for you to get through whatever event you are going through.
It really tore me up because I've been avoiding / disbelieving that there is a finality to my relationship and my family being whole.
I also have been carrying a lot of guilt after Thursdays events with W because of some of the things she said, putting responsibility for everything on me, drinking, my depression and me not 'wanting her'.
I don't want to rehash it any more. I spoke to Ford and Phoenyx and Ian and I worked through the feelings, realizing that she should have been my best friend, and a best friend wouldn't have just let me hurt like I did.
So, I forgive myself, and her, and I accept that as far as she is concerned our marriage is over and can't ever be fixed.
I accept that.
I also believe that God will provide a way for me to get through this and move on to a better life. I don't know how and I don't need to know.
