You make a very valid point IMO. It would be EASIER TO RUN. Hell, giving up would be so easy right now... but in the long run could I look back and say it was the right thing? And I think that is what a lot of us here struggle with.
It constantly amazes me that stuff I'm thinking other people here are thinking too. I had a bad day a few days ago and I swear I was thinking it would be so easy to move, leave the kids with H and have them put them in public school like H wants and have him do the raising of the kids and see them summers. I swear I came close to emailing H and doing it!!! Then the next day I talked to my kids and both kids say they want to live with me and homeschool, and I just couldn't do it. I can see how it can be really tempting and how our WAS basically have chosen to do that. But I don't think I could live with myself if I did that. Karen
Hi MC: I think it's a good thing to be cautious when her words make you feel more than you expect...granted detaching is essential - but who could blame you for reacting to a word like that...
A few weeks ago, just before hanging up the phone, my wife said I love you - and it left me silent and stunned...and but I also knew it was just habit and not feeling talking.
You're doing so well at staying detached...it must be good to have enough detachment to recognize those few lingering threads right away. -carlos
Somber..you know..I had the same thing happen to me a few weeks ago, I can't be 100% sure, but I was hanging up with hub and I SWEAR I think he said, "I love you" at the end, like as he was hanging up..but I knew either a) I didn't hear right or b) it was just a habit..tho I'd like it to be c) the truth LOL! But you're right..Tom is so good at being detached he catches it super quick!
Karen..I homeschool my son too and my hub also is not thrilled about it and would rather him be in public school..so I totally hear you on that..wouldn't it be "nice" (sarcastic and serious LOL) to be able to be the one "flitting" around and doing whatever you wanted and let them be the ones raising the kids..but, like you, I KNOW me and know I couldn't live with myself!
{{{Tom}}} Hope your weekend is good my friend
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Me ex did the "I love you" while hanging up thing a couple weeks ago as well. At first i thought maybe habit but it was almost like she timed it to where it would be to late for me to react. I thought it seemed more like baiting than habit.
Hell I feel real bad.... my H never said he loved me on the phone in 22 years of marriage. Boy i would love to hear it now LOL I know it would not be habit !
Had a good weekend. Went to Cincinnati for my monthly visit. Went out to Hooter's for the SEC Championship game. Sorry for you 'Bama fans. But I wish they had won; cause I have a hard time rooting for the Gators; oh well.
Later I took a 2.5 hour nap and then went out with two of good friends there to a rock bar. We had a great time watching people. Drunks are funny some times. Nice crowd. When I was paying for my tab, there was a girl sitting all by herself next to me. One of my friends sent me a text and said "Ask her who she's waiting for." So being totally out of character for me, I did. It built my confidence to see that I could still strike up a convo with a stranger at a moment's notice and carry on for several minutes. I left her alone after that; because that's not what I was looking for. My friends were wondering why I came back; I said I don't live here and I'm not in the market for a 20-something GF. But I gave them all of her info, they were too scared to go up and do anything else with her. As we were leaving I went past her and told her that it was nice to meet her. She said likewise.
I went back to my room at that point. This morning my Mom brought the kids up to Cincy for our Christmas party and everyone loved seeing the kids and the kids had a great time. I really enjoyed it as well. A couple of times, I felt some self pity watching couples that appeared to be happy; but most everyone there knows of my sitch and they treat the kids like family. So I didn't have my pity party for long. Plus, there so much adultery and divorce in that group; they know exactly what's going on.
{{{Tom}}} Sounds like you had a fun weekend...now..I'm just gonna tell you, we ladies on the board don't think it's ok you flirting with other women and all I'm just kidding, I'm not at all surprised that you were able to talk to the gal and I'm sure she appreciated the kind gentleman talking to her too
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I'm just kidding, I'm not at all surprised that you were able to talk to the gal and I'm sure she appreciated the kind gentleman talking to her too