Ok. I hear you. It is hard to see things through your eyes because we all come here with different lives, different situations, and different backgrounds. In the end, only you know the right thing to do, and you got to do what you got to do. You are living this life you put on paper. We are only reading it, trying to help you as best we can from what you tell us.
I understand you are trying to do some things that help your marriage. What has always concerned me is the constant statements that come out that lead me to believe that you will become the WAH soon if you don't do something. If it ever gets to that point, please listen to us and do what we suggested FIRST at least. I can sort of understand what you are doing because it is what my H did the whole time, kind of, but the difference is he didn't actually "know" that I was in the midst of affairs. But, maybe he would have done the same as you. You two are very much alike. I don't know. Like you, I worry about your kids. If you take a strong approach, like suggested, your kids won't be living in this limbo as long. But, if you want to continue loving her the way you have been, then you could maybe take them to that movie, Fireproof, because they would understand what the heck you have been doing.
The B thing is bothersome. Only because we all know she wants you and you continue that on. You tell her what's up, but show her something else. YOu think it is good that you didn't answer her first couple calls and only answered the last time, but do you realize that is just having her think about your more, want you more? It's the chase. She will do something for your birthday. You just watch. Like I said before, she is a parasite. I just wish you would trust us on this one at least. Even if this is the only thing you listen to me on. She is not a help. Has she said anything to you that is helpful to your marriage? Has she said anything to you that would make you want to fight for your wife? Nope. In fact, it is the opposite. I noticed this a long time ago. AFter long chunks of time with her, that is usually when you are ready to NOT be married and make those statements. If she is what is keeping you sane, you need to look deeper within yourself and find what truly makes you happy. Some lady that you don't want to be with isn't it. While you are waiting on your wife to open her eyes all the way, you could be learning about yourself at the same time. Making yourself better and better.
I worry a lot about her "using" you. You know her best, though. If you asked her why she is the way she is to you, my guess is she would outright tell you that she wants to remain friends for the kids. It just doesn't feel right at times when I read what she does/says to you. Like she is getting everything....classic cake eating. But, maybe that is your plan. Letting her have everything, and then there is no fight away from you...only realizations.
I'll go with it, since it is what you will do no matter what. Once I'm your friend, you can't do anything to get rid of me. I'm like that.
