Thanks for your words of encouragement and the kudos. The latter really is something I owe to everyone here for the guidance!
I think it helped that I was taking the call by the front door of the restaurant. Actually I felt pretty good about things once the convo started. Dreaded the start... but felt good after I read my text and she started venting.
Alex, I feel good. Not sure if that is surprising or not given what I heard. Although her words sounded definitively final, I was ok. The convo ended, I went back to my table and had a sip of wine and I think I had a smile on my face!
More fun later in the evening. I called MIL. Turns out we chatted for an hour. W had NOT told them of her A like she had indicated to others she had. In fact, a lot of what W had told me about how MIL felt given what I was doing was LIES. MIL encouraged me to call more frequently.
Ahhhhhhh. For whatever reason, I am at peace with myself right now.
Last edited by lost_in_space; 12/07/0805:44 AM.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Bravo LIS. This was her explosion that you knew was coming. And like everyone else here, I heard all those things. Just ignore it. You are separating the crack addict from her drug.
You wrecked 2 marriages? Um....hello? Earth to WW....Heard the exact same thing.
Just continue to be consistent. Do your best DB now. Me thinks the fantasy is falling apart...
Hope4us
Me - 49, W 49 S22 & S18 Dday 9/4/07 W claims NC 4/7/08 8/29/09 - Divorce Busted. Lots to work through, but we're going to make it.
Hey 54. I hear what you are saying. But I needed to ebsure the truth was in play. I found out interesting things that MIL wouldn't have said if she wasn't being upfrint.
I do hear you. I will be careful - I know that blood is thick.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
More fun later in the evening. I called MIL. Turns out we chatted for an hour. W had NOT told them of her A like she had indicated to others she had. In fact, a lot of what W had told me about how MIL felt given what I was doing was LIES.
When I think back at what you and others told me and suggested I do, I am regretting not fully shedding the Mr Nice Guy thing and taking action sooner.
But here we go again. And I do feel more in control of my life than I have in a long time.
Now let's tyrn the page in the script and see what is next...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
W and D16 are on their way home today from PHX. Supposed to leave at 6am. Get a text from D16 that they had missed their flight.
If D16 wasn't along, I would be laughing like crazy - guess I still am cause I know D16 is ok.
Ironic - in May when we were in PHX as a family, I missed the flight coming home because I was delayed at the rental car place. DID I CATCH $HIT FOR THAT!!!!!!!!
Quick addition to convo with W last night. Another thing she said to me was that I should go get my meds adjusted because based on my behavior and attitude, obviously they weren't working... Only have light sleeping pills...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Bravo LIS. This was her explosion that you knew was coming. And like everyone else here, I heard all those things. Just ignore it. You are separating the crack addict from her drug.
You wrecked 2 marriages? Um....hello? Earth to WW....Heard the exact same thing.
Just continue to be consistent. Do your best DB now. Me thinks the fantasy is falling apart...
H4U, Thanks for the thoughts - missed your comments earlier. Must have been some cross posting.
Will be interesting to see what happens when they finally get home. I have a busy work day tomorrow so will likely take a sleep aid tonight - may not hear them when they get in.
I can be consistent. Not sure if what I am doing is the best DB available, but I have definitely become comfortable with what I am doing.
As I think back over the convo, wish I could have recorded it. I particularly liked the "I will not be having an affair" comment. That did make me stand up straight.
It's winter here for sure now (snow came to stay) and although the Rocky Mountains are a ways off, it would be nice to see the avalanches start... (metaphorically speaking of course)
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
I've never posted to you but have been following your story closely. I think you're doing a great job and I'm finding strength in your strength.
My sitch is a little different in that my H tried to sweet talk me into a D. I don't know what's worse - nice liers or mean liers.
And as for you wrecking 2 marriages, please excuse me while I state the obvious: Un-f'ing believable!!!
Stay strong. Deep down inside, your W knows you're right.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Actually I felt pretty good about things once the convo started. Dreaded the start... but felt good after I read my text and she started venting.
