Mike, DB is not only for attempting to save a marriage/relationship, it is to help save you. DB worked for you in many ways and what you've learned here will carry you throughout the the rest of your life. Look at what you've accomplished while in pain and on the emotional rollercoaster!
No all marriages will be saved. You are the only one that can determine when you've had enough and know what you must do in order to get to the next step. You are at the cross roads of life and now, you must make decisions that will affect you and your children in many ways. Do what you need to do, but only do it when you are not frustrated, angry or in emotional pain. Just make sure that you are ready to do what is necessary to cut the ties permanently.
You've fought the battle and you may not have won, but you did win in many ways...you saved yourself. You are a success no matter what happens.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
