aliens undercover: married to the pod

[hoosiermama]

I've got to get a handle on this visitation stuff. He decided at some point that he wants D today and overnight tonite. But never told me. Said something earlier in the week about "Well, maybe Sunday, I don't know." It was that vague. But of course, has talked to D about it. He hasn't wanted her on the weekend from the beginning--but court is coming up. So D mentioned it last night after he texted her. I said, sorry--he's going to have to talk to me about it because it's not your responsiblity to figure this stuff out. So she told him to talk with me. So he texted me--but all I got was a bunch of numbers. I called him, left a message--I didn't get your text. So a couple hours later he texts again--same stuff. By this time it's 10 pm. I phoned him immediately, left another message--I'm not getting your texts, you're going to have to talk with me. So at 10:30 he calls, sounds all sleepy. "You got my text a week ago, so I know you can get my texts." "Well, I'm not getting them tonite, I'm just getting numbers. What's up?" "I wanted to pick up D for church (this is also a first)" "OK, what time?" "No later than 10 am." "Okay, then what?" "Well, I have a service at 4 and Tom is coming over in the evening." "So you'll have her back before 4?" "Well, no, I was going to have her spend the night." "I wasn't planning on this, she has homework." "Well, we talked about it earlier in the week." "It was very vague and tentative--I didn't know." From there we worked out a compromise, because D wants to go to church with him because it's Advent. He'll drop her off before his service. This is making me nuts.

He will do just about anything to avoid talking with me, and I find that really irritating when we're trying to make arrangements like this. There's email, there's cellphone and there's the house phone. But now he decides he has to text. What nonsense. What's up with the avoidance? And I am standing my ground with communication re: visitation. I've told him over and over, he needs to communicate with me, not with D because she shouldn't be the one figuring this stuff out. And he continues to avoid me. If D hadn't expressed real interest in visiting (as she always does) before I ever knew about it, I would have come up with some alternate plan and cancelled it out.