Never say never I guess is the phrase. I'm sorry you had a bad time on his birthday, but I know what you mean. I react/feel the same way on 'special' days. I guess it's the part of us that still wants to be there for them, not only to celebrate with them, but also to be who they turn to when they're hurting, or sick, or grieving , etc. You know what I mean? I think it's the love that we have for someone that we can't give to anyone else, and its something we have to tamp down when there's no contact at all. I don't think it will ever go completely away. We gave a big part of ourselves to them..and that part of us went away when they did.
I was pleased that xMIL did what she did, but I'm not fooling myself either. Not many in that family do anything without having a more complicated motive for doing so. I know that sounds pessimistic, but I'm not as naive as I used to be I guess.
Wishing you and yours all the best, too!
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
