Thanks everyone. I wont bore you with my internal thoughts.
This week H rang me after I sent him an email question. Was a good conversation, he ended the it with "hope to see you soon', to which I said "I'd really like that".
But then no more phone calls and no contact this weekend. Stupid stupid.
I did go out dancing Friday night (have got the blisters to prove it!), had a surfing lesson Saturday and hang out at the beach. Saturday night I went out for dinner and the movies with a friend. Today I've done 4 hours volunteering at the children's hospital and went to church this evening. I estimate that I still think about H every hour.
All my RL friends and family are saying I should file for divorce. I've never really shared the DB-ing thing with any RL friends, but even those that I could tell hoped that we would reconcile are now telling me that I should make the decision and take control of the situation. Hmm not sure. I still love him damn it!
Highly doubtful that H wants to see me on our wedding anniversary - I expect he would have made a plan by now and called me if he was going to....
I think that I'm ready to have the conversation where I try and get a sense of where he see this heading.
I'm thinking of telling H that I feel really confused about him and our relationship, and then ask him if he feels confused too? (and validate and affirm and all that crap after wards!)
What do you think?
Other option is to ask him if he'd be prepared to see me at least once a week, so that we can do some more fun things together. If he doesn't want to, or if he doesn't follow through, then tell him that I'm sorry his life is so busy, but only seeing each other once every 3 weeks is not what I want, and he should call me only if he can clear enough room in his life to see me more often.
The third option is one where I yell and tell him to man up!. The fourth option is to tell him I've met someone else. The fifth option is to tell him a part of me will always love him, and I want him but I dont need him anymore and I have to move on for my own sake. I'm pretty sure there is a sixth option too - one that involves lots of swearing.
