woo hoo LIS!! yes for you! i am so proud of you! stand up, if you do it, maybe i can be as strong as you too!!
so sorry been scarce, I still pray for you and yours. its just been insane here.
hugs and lots of love
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
You sound very strong and confident lately, but yet still polite to your W and everything which is also good. I think you are doing all the right stuff, so whatever happens you will be better off. ((((LIS)))) Karen
Hey all. Did you see the explosion coming from Phoenix??????? Must have.
The following was delivered to W (repeated cause a little different):
W, Would rather have talked to you in person, but you kept raising questions and we NEEDED to deal with the trip sooner rather than later. I agree the kids will be very disappointed. You have more say in this than you let on, in fact you have ALL the say in this. Your affair is the only thing standing in our way, but I can't control you nor do I have any desire to. Friend mentioned they do not want to have us along because of what is going on and we can't afford this trip and go through a divorce. I would love nothing more than for you to stop the affair, work on the marriage, and continue fun trips with the family.
The immediate response (within 20 minutes) was 4 calls on my cell phone (ignored), 1 vm, 2 calls to the house phone and then finally a call to S13 cell phone (we were on our way out for supper). W asks S13 for me.
W: we need to talk. Me: I can call you after we are done supper. W: no we need to talk now. Excuse yourself from supper. I expect a call. Me: I understand what you would like. Bye.
Turns out the restaurant we headed to was full, so we changed restaurants. Really had no time to call W, not that I was really looking forward to doing that anyway. So she calls S13 AGAIN and asks that I excuse myself and talk now. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I agreed - it needed to be done.
I read her my message because the text was long and broken up. SO I read it to her.
Some of the relevant points: W: First, I will not be having an affair. Me: Excuse me, what did you say? W: I will not be having an affair. Me: No W, you are. I know about this latest night in hotel. W: I know you know - do you know what went on (implying they talked about stopping the A - BULL!). Me: no and I really do not care to know. W: Oh Mr High and Mighty, it is none of your business anyway. Me: Just looking for the truth. [W getting more angry]
W: I am so done with our M and so done with you. I cannot stand to see your face. I don't care and haven't for a long time. Truth hurts doesn't it. Me: I see. No the truth is what it is. W: Mr smug. You have now broken up 2 marriages. Hope you are happy. Me: I didn't break up anything. I simply provided the truth and OMW kept thanking me for that. W: You are not God. It was not your business to do that. I don't think she is so glad to know the truth now. Me: That is not what I heard.
[W continues to yell, swear and get MORE angry]
W: You think you are so good. You have made all the decisions in everybodys life. (I HAVE NO IDEA WTF THIS IS ALL ABOUT!!!!) You are so controlling. You have to control all the finances. You are hiding your paycheck Mr. Control
Me: not hiding anything. It is there. Bills are getting paid as they need to. It is called responsibility. W: No there are bills going unpaid. You know what I am talking about. Me: no actually I don't W: I cannot pay my (personal) credit card or my cell bill. Your paycheck is family money. Me: well what about the funds in your account? W: what funds? I haven't billed anybody for a long time because of what has been going on. Me: well you have cash that we received from others for paying their expenses. What about that? W: I guess that will have to go to the joint account so I have cash.
Anyway, you get the drift. A lot of that. Also heard:
* OM made me happy - something you haven't done for a long time. * you are pathetic * decide what you want about the trip but how is it any different from us living in the same house as we are * you have to explain to the K's about no trip (and when I said I will and I will tell them nothing but the truth, she became even madder) * if you would have a heart, this D would have been done by now (to which I did say that D is your choice W, not mine) but you have no heart
All in all, I did not hear anything I did not expect. Didn't ruin supper - that was good.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
If you would have been with her you might have expected her head to spin around and her face to turn green and scabbed up. Was she up for the part in the Exorcist?
Think you did well by not getting taken in. Always our fault about the A and the state of our households(financial and otherwise). Keep taking the high road.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
