I'll never be alone #2

[Creed]

Haven't posted on my own thread in 6 months, but have been lurking and sometimes posting on others.

I thought I at least had something 'new' to post about.

After 4 years of silence, my xMIL made a point of coming up to me where I work and starting a conversation. This was deliberate on her end...she could have left my place of business and I would never have known she had been there.

You would have been so proud of me. As much anger and hurt I felt towards her, it did not throw me for a loop at all seeing/talking to her out of the blue like that. I guess time does make an impact on our feelings good/bad whether we realize it or not. I even managed to wish her a sincere Merry Christmas and to pass my wishes on to my xFIL. It was a very civil, friendly exchange, with just a few questions to me about the boys and my new position at work. Did bring up Xs name once, but only in regard as to what he had told her about one of the boys. It seemed like she could have/would have visited longer, but my work kept interrupting the conversation. Too bad. I would have liked to have seen where it would have gone.
I mentioned all of this to my own mom , and you could hear her smile over the phone. She seems to think the whole thing is rather 'fishy', and said she wouldn't be surprised if I don't see xh in the store next being friendly. Considering I haven't talked to him since before the D (2 years) I doubt that, but my mom has a way of being right about alot of things even when they seem like they're coming out of left field.

I told mom I believe that MIL may have just been feeling guilty all these years dropping me like a leper, and she might have wanted to hold out an olive branch in hopes of getting me to put in a good word about her to my boys...so that maybe she'd see them once in awhile. Remember, they're 30 and 25. I have not and will not mention this to them. If they're invited to her place for Xmas, it's up to them if they go. They just might since they've gotten closer to their dad again. They'd do it for him if he asked them to, and I guess that would be good. But I do know they would not do it without clenching their teeth. They've never had a close relationship with her because of the way she'd talk /lecture them when they were young boys. They'd rather hide in their rooms if she was there visiting, or have me tell her that they were somewhere else whilst they hid in their rooms like quiet little mice!! LOL Not nice, but she never wanted to be an active grandma while they were growing up, and she pretty much ignored them while her son tore his family apart, so what goes around seems to come around. I do hope for everyones sake that there will be amends made. But she certainly has a lot to make up for as far as repairing her relationship with them. Better late than never I guess. I just hope she doesn't try to use a visit with them to persuade them to look at the past any differently than they have.

Her son made his choices, and she really doesn't need to try to make excuses for him to his sons. They will decide in their lives, as they get older how they want to look back on their family life as we once were....and how we ultimately ended up.

Anyway, I think it was a positive step for her, even if she has a hidden agenda. The ice needed to be broke somehow. I just hope her hidden agenda is not for her sons sake in anyway. He should be responsible for that on his own.

So...even though we feel the other side has forgotten us, rest assured they haven't. After 4 years, I know it couldn't have been easy for her to face me..especially knowing her part in things.

In case I don't get back to post before the Holidays, I wish all of you..oldies and newbies a blessed Christmas, safe travelling and a happier, healthier New Year in 2009, with many families being reunited with Gods love surrounding them.