Well, I called him and left him a voicemail. It was basically something like, (in a light, friendly, and happy voice):
"Hey B, it's transformer. I would be happy to help your brother C think of places to transfer. I have a couple ideas but it's hard to say which ones I think he'd like without having more information about: why he wants to leave his school, if he wants to be urban/not urban, west coast/east coast, what his financial aid situation is, and everything. but I'd be happy to talk about it with you! Also, I'm not going to be in NY until probably the 18th or something because of my finals and everything, and I might be even *going to graduation*, so are you going to be in NY in december after the 11th? Let me know! Call me! Ok, bye!"
I decided to wait until I hear back from him to mention the possibility of january.
((Julia)) thank you so much for all your ideas! I didn't think of it that way until you pointed it out. I would love to have you dance in my kitchen any time!!
((lisa)) that is a really good point that maybe if I do something different he will do something different for the better as well. I guess I am just scared... from the outside maybe my situation seems "solid", but because contact is so infrequent it feels very touch and go to me. Also everything is moving sooooo slowly it is hard to tell if things are actually moving, or if we're just treading water in a pattern established over the past... 8 (??) months of friendly contact. ????
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(Actually, just thinking about that, do you have a plan for how to increase the interactions, or what kinds of baby steps would encourage you to try different things on B? I'd love to see the plan, maybe when you have time after finals!)
Lisa, that is also such a good question! I hadn't thought of a plan to increase the interactions or what baby steps to look for from B! thank you for keeping me goal oriented I guess I could try subtle ways of being more "encouraging" ... gentle flirtation when we see each other. I could also try contacting him more frequently. He does seem receptive to my contacts even though sometimes he is slow in responding to them. I feel like I am not "allowed" to contact him much more frequently than I already do, for fear it will push him away.
I guess I could try subtle ways of being more "encouraging" ... gentle flirtation when we see each other. I could also try contacting him more frequently. He does seem receptive to my contacts even though sometimes he is slow in responding to them. I feel like I am not "allowed" to contact him much more frequently than I already do, for fear it will push him away. 
