Stage 2.25

[istherehope]

So,

I had gone to town today where I ran loads of errands. H went to the gym and the way it was timed we were apart for about 8 hours. When H got home, he asked me to come downstairs. I did and he started telling me about this trip that his company is paying for (it's a trip for 2 to either the US, Brazil or Portugal and I have known about it for months and was hoping he'd ask me). He also mentioned needing to go to Mexico in January. Now I might have done something a little anti-DBing when he mentioned the Mexico trip, but in some respects I think I need to say more than I have been. So I said "yes I know and I was hoping to go too." At first he said "let's just see," to which I said OK, but then he asked, "so would you really want to go?"; I said that of course I would as this was a family function and I love his family too. I think in the past he has always felt that I haven't placed the priority on family that he has, so I think it was a good thing for me to say that. Then he talked about flying to San Diego first to see some cousin of his, and talked about how much the flights would cost. There is an overall trip allowance of 2000E, so he said I should look into going to Brazil in March, and see what this would cost! To make a long story short, I let him know about some airline credits we have, and how it would be feasible to do both. As I still want to make sure to give space, I talked about going to Seattle for a week on my own first, then meeting him in San Diego. He even mentioned me staying with his mother while in Seattle! Now I am not going to do that, but the fact that he once again sees me as integrated into this part of his life is truly massive.

So we sat upstairs together and talked about different flight options for quite awhile. Today I had also bought the book on the Czech Republic, and he saw the book (I didn't mention it), and started looking through it on his own. He kept telling me about things from the book, and found some really nice restaurant in Prague that he wanted me to look up online. So, I looked up the menu, and he came to sit next to me while I did this, and at once point rested his head on my shoulder! He then said we should take my ex and his GF to this restaurant for hosting us, and that we should make reservations before we get there.

So after this I was cooking, and he came into the kitchen and HUGGED me, a real hug, not one of those brief hugs. In fact I felt a little uncomfortable as I wasn't sure when I should pull away. I wanted to melt, but kept myself in check. H went downstairs to play video games, and I asked him if I should just bring him a plate of food when it was ready. He said yes, but then a few minutes later said no that he wanted to eat upstairs.

I do think H has been thinking about things a lot lately, and it was weird how he really wanted to tell me about the Brazil trip and it was as if he was bursting to do so when he got home from the gym. I had never forgotten that he had this trip available but he must have been thinking about whether to travel with me for awhile. Just a few other random positive things. Our cats have been damaging the leather couches in our apartment by scratching them. H tells them to stop and I mentioned that the couches were already ruined. He said "then we can train them not to ruin our next couch." Tomorrow I am meeting with some salesperson to switch our cable and internet service providers. It's just that every step seems positive now, even if there are days where nothing happens and H is more reserved.

Now I know that we will have plans through March at least. H wants to spend at least 10 days in Brazil, so at the very least he must feel more comfortable and content around me.

Feeling really good right now...

ITH