Cinders, Take care of yourself. Panic attacks are not any fun and when you have to sit in an ER, well...that's absolutely no fun. Yoga, walking, etc. are excellent stress busters. I think, even though you've been doing a lot of holiday things, keeping busy, etc., you are still somewhat detached to the drama of your h. It's okay. You are slowly drifting away from his drama more and more each day. However, you've got to just put him and thoughts of him up on a shelf and treat him like the paper boy. The focus now must be on you and your children. Your health is warning you that you need to be taking care of you for a change.
Hugs!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
