ImStillHopeful - Thank you so much for the kind words. I am glad to hear that someone thinks I get this. There really is a lot of doubt in this entire endeavor, isn't there? Some of it comes from the DB process being so counterintuitve, some if it comes from the shock of having lost a relationship one felt so certain would never tarnish.

Your words came a very good time. I am feeling a bit down this afternoon, in between GAL activities. I was just thinking about something my IC said to me yesterday. He believes my H will dig his way out of the depression or MLC (he has met my H once and heard plenty about hin from me). But something IC said planted a disturbing seed.

I felt a lot of relief when I concluded H is depressed or in the midst of MLC because on a gut level, I knew that meant he'd be back here, someday. Yesterday, IC said have you considered the possibility that once H recovers, he may want to leave it all, his job, you, the city, maybe even the country? I replied that I had certainly considered it, I fear it all the time. I have not sorted out why this put a bee in my bonnet, it just has.

It's gloomy here today, too. Also having a negative impact on the mood. Unfortunately, I do not have time for a run before my evening plans, so no endorphins for me today.

I like your perspective on the traveling. My H is the type who has to pack in as many activities as are humanly possible on any given day - you know, a man ;\) - so traveling without him will certainly slow the pace to a more acceptable one from my perspective.

Tawnya - thanks for sticking with me. It always puts a smile on my face to see your name on my thread. I know I will feel like I just got a great big hug. I really needed one right now.

Got to shake this mood off, it is not doing me any good at all.

Thanks to you both,

Beth

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