((Ms M))) I am all warm and cosy now; with the Christmas lights it is so nice here. Scented candles and all. You are right too; I am putting too much pressure on myself by trying to solve everything. I can imagine that meeting me is going to be difficult for him - that is why he is being a bit defensive etc. He is maybe trying to paint me in negatives so it makes it easier to justify his actions. I will be me, and show him what he is missing out on. I had such fun putting the decorations up with my friend and the house looks so nice. I bet his flat doesn't!! I will try and be as mysterious about my life and get him wondering, I like that and maybe test the jealous card... I'm not bringing up the car; he can go ahead and sell that if he wants - I'll pick my battles.
(((T))) I think he is only thinking short term. I won't say that the house won't sell I'll just say that I haven't seen any houses around our area sell but ours is extra nice with all the improvements that we have made so maybe it may stand more of a chance. I have spoken to a solicitor and they say that if we agree the house sale between ourselves it is fine. I def won't be f***ed over financially, I have been clear about that all along even in my desperate stage. Thank you so much for reminding me I don't have to decide in that meeting. I was putting 'fix it' pressure on myself. If he has a good reason for wanting to push things through and shares that with me I will consider things but unless he does that I have no reason to rush my decision.
I will try and keep my tone neutral. I will try to visualise that muffin sentence - it will really help, thank you!
(((Ali))) you are giving me such good financial suggestions, thank you. I will look into the interest option too I hadn't realised you could do that and gather some quotes. That would be a 180 for me to suggest that too as I always try and pay off debt - he doesn't prioritise that - I come across as very uptight money stuff sometimes, it runs in the family I get annoyed with my sister doing that so I can see that I would be annoying.
My goal is probably to rent it out, I am pretty certain of that. I need to move to the next stage for me I think. I don't want to buy him out or have someone move in with me here. I don't think I could share this house with anyone else and it would be good to create some new memories somewhere else.
I was thinking and in my email to him, the original one with Jody, I did imply he should sort things with regards to the sale of the house so he may have taken that a step further and be annoyed with me for now turning around and saying I want to meet to discuss. He may be wanting to fix things so I am going to try and validate lots and also show him I am perfectly capable as he tends to sometimes comes across as condescending (e.g. explaining what a mortgage holiday is - I know!!!) so if I show I am also capable then that may also be a good 180. I was so incapable after the first bomb and I used to be soooo capable. If I go with several options and the supporting information that I can draw on it if needed but no give no 'answers'. Then we may be able to work something out together.
