MLC PTSD: Is there any connection?

[LolaL]

Yes it does, although the words are a little different. He says he cares about me but does not love me. Of course, when he says that, he always looks down and to the left, and very quickly, sometimes before I can finish (although I haven't asked in quite some time). LOL there is a story behind that...when he was special ops he was trained to tell if someone was lying, and once told me how. He said the timing of the response is this: people who are telling the truth will usually wait 2-3 seconds before answering. People who are lying will answer either very quickly, or very slowly. They look down and to the left because they are using the right side of the brain to "think" of an answer if they are lying. If they look down and to the right, they are thinking of the truthful answer. I can tell by the look on his face he loves me.

He has also told me that he feels he is a "yes" man, and in this instance he wants to stand firm and say no to reconciliation. About three or four weeks ago, he said that he feels things would be different for the first few months, and then go back to the way they were, and he doesn't want to put D12 through another traumatic separation (she is my daughter from a previous M), and that she seems to be doing well now and doesn't want to disrupt that. D12 is doing well, and doesn't mention H much, but her scrapbook and books for school that she needed to decorate w/ family pictures have pix of him all over them. She misses him too. But I have not told him that, as I just discovered it when I was looking through her stuff, cleaning out her backpack.

Since I am a paralegal, H knows it would be very easy for me to file and do the paperwork on my own. I have told him that I won't, I won't fight him if he wants the D, but I won't do it for him. I stand firm by that.

I know H knows I love him, so I am not sure if signing the card that way is a good thing. But at the same time, I want him to know I am still here. We have had a few conversations this week, mostly brief, but I have let him know if he needs anything to let me know, and he said he would. I am not sure he would notice, but if he did, it might give him something to think about. D12 will sign the card too, so if it is "love" from both of us, I am thinking it might give him a memory of us as a family, rather than a feeling that I am trying to "lure", so to speak, him back in.

I think H knows, like your H said, I am a constant in his life. He knows he can depend on me if he needs something...lol...at the beginning of the week he sent me a text for the account number for his mortgage payment. I had to laugh just a little because this isn't even my house. He owned it before we were married, and under Texas law that falls as personal property rather than community. But still, I sent him a text w/ the account number, and followed up w/ a phone call.

Okay, that was long...and I haven't even had my second cup of coffee!!!