Upside you are right. The way I describe it is I say something and because h is still hypersensitive he sees it as disrespecting him telling him what to do it's your way Glam or the highway.
He hasn't quite worked through how to respond to me in a polite way back to let me know how he is really feeling.
When these convos happen he just gets on the defensive. I did say h you are right I am sorry. I didn't mean to undermine you in front of the kids. I did explain how I was feeling. I was relaxing and getting ready to go back to work I wasn't feeling the greatest and h answers the door and makes me deal with it. I feel if you answered it you finish it, but know I had to get up and take care of it.
I did say I was not perfect. H said he wasn't expecting perfection. He said that would be too boring and then nothing to work on. Hmmmmm does that mean he likes a challenge?
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
You know what GG, take this as a lesson learned. The most important thing is to take whatever info you can and go from there. Try to let stuff like this go. And even though he should have handled it, he obviously needs you to go with the flow. Try to if you can.
A lot of positives happening - I am happy for you!
Thanks BM. I will need to let the little stuff go, you are right. Trying, it's just that things just blurt out of my mouth without really thinkin how h might respond.
I am going to seriously work on this one, since it is a known issue for me.
I left h 2 v-mails today, but NO response from him. I have NO idea what time he will be here on Sat. We will just have to wait and see.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I have heard that lots of sleeping is due to depression. Of course, I have never been depressed like many of these men either so maybe I have misinformation.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Feeling a little discouraged. I was thinking of a co-worker that was on a business trip and how her h was packing nutritious snacks for her and she mentioned how attentive he was on Thanksgiving.
Now they are newly M, but what goes on in my head is why can't this be me. Why can't I have an h that even wants to live with us let alone be attentive. I walked away from that convo wondering what it is that I am trying to do. Why am I trying so hard for something that will probably never be. I am torn at the moment.
H's plans are to come over and help get a tree and decorate. The funny thing is I don't feel motivated. I really don't even want to get a tree. It's weird. I didn't feel like making Thanksgiving dinner either, but I did, now the same thing for the other holidays is creeping in.
Not sure what is happening. I have always loved the holiday times. They have always been about family and I just see my family as broken and not so sure it can be repaired.
Something else is happening with me too. My feelings are changing. I am not sure how to explain it. Not sure how to keep them in check. Any thoughts?
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
G, of course you dont want to do the holidays. Neither do I. But push yourself, you have little ones who are counting on you. Focus on them.
I would say, if I had to guess, that the feelings you are having are you finally and truly detaching. This is hard, all this. Hard to keep the PMA, hard to let someone go and figure his life out, hard not to get discouraged.
You have to figure out what it is you really want and the best way to go about getting it. Praying always helps.
Hi Glam, it is just a set back, it's hard this time of year. Most of us reach a point of questioning what we actually want and how possible that is-realistically. We realise another year has passed and we are a year older but maybe not wiser or happier. Life moves on and we seem to have our heads looking backwards or way into the future when we hope things will be better,but we actually live in the now. So when others appear to be happy and in a loving relationship we feel our loss and the wasted years more keenly. It is no bad thing to question and not always a negative thing, we need this to keep our GAl ing momentum going. You wouldn't drive with your eyes shut would you, so why live your life that way. Maybe your tired of the holidays as you have them so make new traditions,change what you do and how you celebrate. When the children are grown it is never the same and we try to get that magic back and it doesn't work. In true DB spirit do a 180 and change how you celebrate. I know you have a little one but you can still alter some of the things. Take care.
On my way to the gym. I think I better just pray while I am there. It seems like a lot of negative thoughts are messing with my mind these days.
I think the enemy is on the prowl, dear, and putting little thoughts in your head instead of the sugar plum fairies dancing around............okay you know what I mean.
The enemy is on the attack for many of us.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
