This time you need to do it just like every other survivor here has done it, frank.
You cut her loose and you do the WORK ON YOURSELF
You stop thinking everything is up the creek because your wife won't reconcile and see that you see how you messed up.
Well blah, blah, friggin BLAH. How many of us can sing that song?
What is the difference between you and everyone else here?
I'll tell you.
You busted your ass playing a role previously - not REALLY changing - and then your marriage was supposedly reconciled.
YAY.
But you messed up.
Instead of continuing to address issues you KNEW you had you hoodwinked yourself by letting yourself feel cocksure because your wife was home and then you spent your time counseling others on how to be the Authentic Male etc...etc...etc...and the truth was that you hadn't even done any of it yourself.
YOU HADN'T done the very thing you were counseling others to do.
You had not dealt with yourself - at your core.
You wanna know how I know, Frank?
Because that's EXACTLY what happened to me.
I spent more time here talking to others and trying to pick them up and the whole time, little by little, I was losing what little bit of a grip I had gotten on MY true self after my MLC.
Remember where that got me, Frank?
NOT dealing with my own demons?
DO YOU REMEMBER???
Oh, sure you probably aren't going to waltz your ass into the land of domination and submission in order to have your guilt assuaged by some sick bastard with a twisted mind but there are ALL KINDS of hell, Frank, and even if you choose to never leave the confines of your house they will find you.
Please don't run yourself ragged like I did (twice).
Truth is, Frank - all you've done is the window dressing.
And at the end of the day, every day, you are left with yourself and YOU HAVE STILL NOT dealt with your personal issues.
I'll tell you something else I know, too:
YOU are the one that's keeping yourself from moving forward.
It's YOU.
And even God - ESPECIALLY GOD - will not return a broken woman to a broken man.
You aren't gonna move an inch in any direction but DOWN unless you address your personal issues.
When you do that, and not until you do that, you will see through new eyes.
And THEN you will have been fully transformed (by the renewing of your mind).
And who knows what the world will hold in store for you then, Frank_D!
It would be at your fingertips.
But it won't happen until you cross this bridge.
And I'm real sorry but this is something you have to do on your own.
If you don't, you're likely to get sidetracked and cost yourself even more time.
There just ain't no other way.
If I knew a shortcut I'd tell you, Frank.
But I tried 'em all and they're all dead ends.
The only way outta this is THROUGH it.
Frank, you have gained a lot of wisdom in your time here. When God started opening your eyes to the truth about people and relationships He began a work in you.
The Word says He is faithful to complete it.
I'm here to tell you firsthand that you can delay the completion of that work to no end.
But His Word is Truth.
And you can not run far enough away or into any darkness black enough that He won't pull you out.
Eventually you will get tired of running in circles.
And that's when you will learn what it really means to stand.
