God grant me the patience and the strength...9

[theotherhalf]

IMHO she needs serious help to stop seeiing her H and her M thru rose colored glasses.....And just how is it you see my M and H an2m? You have never met us, you have NO idea how things are in my world. Right now I'll agree they are 100% messed up. But 3 years ago I couldn't have asked for more. My life was just as I wanted it to be. maybe i can make her mad nuff to take a long hard look and do something for herself.
What the hell do you think I've been doing the last 19 1/2 months? I am doing EXACTLY what I want to do. I want to save my M and be together with my H again. Not because I can't make it out there on my own. Not because I don't feel like I deserve to be treated better. Not because I am a pathetic fool that doesn't think she can find someone else. But because I WANT to be M to Mr. TOH, I want to stay on this farm. I want to finish what he and I started so many years ago. Its sad to see her hurt cycle after cycle with her H and its always the same I can't argue with this. I hurt every day. But each day I get stronger. Somedays I do fall back down, but the next I pick myself back up and move forward again. An2m, I have no idea where this road is leading me. I pray it is the way to finding that happiness again. Something better I hope. Only God know's the answer to this. Just as you and everyone else here, I have to find my own way. If H wakes up and decides to come along, then all the better. But for now I'm doing the best I can.