Wandering Poster 46 - Try not to get stuck ...

[jon2911]

Yes, I think a lot of DBing for a guy is about confidence, GAL and not being a doormat any more. Which makes us attractive to our W's again.

A lot of this will depend on what your W's father was like. I'm guessing you're not a whole lot like him, so she has unmet expectations she probably doesn't even know are there.

My FIL is a dry drunk with incredible anger problems, so W would be shocked when I didn't fly off the handle when someone offended me. But she needed to see me man up, not necessarily the anger part, but feel like I'm going to protect her.

You're doing great Jeff! Stay in counseling, and definitely go for MC. It's really great that she's agreed to that so far. Don't get caught up in the "I need to see you change before MC" crap, which just leads to a stalemate.