MTN, First, my condolences and second, congratulations. Not every person will go into crisis after a death and it just goes to show that your guy was mature enough to handle the death in a way that did not require him running and acting out. That says a lot about how he was raised and loved in his childhood home.
You fought the battle and you may not have saved your marriage, but look at you now! You've come such a long way and have so much to show for all of the hard work. I'm very, very proud of you.
Wishing you and your family a wonderful life. May the holidays be extra special for you!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.