I think AN2M was just trying really hard to get you to see that your H is abusive. Just because he isn't rotten 24/7/365 doesn't excuse all the bad stuff. He hit you, right?
Anyway, you are still orbiting around him. I realize it is practically impossible for you to detach while working with him on the farm. At some point you might just have to force him sell up. He's never had to suffer any consequences for his actions, and you can't go on like this forever (although he probably expects you to).
