Hi, Beth! I just wasnted to stop in and say that I'm so happy that you're feeling a bit freer. You're doing a really amazing job of holding yourself up, and as hard as it is to accept, you will be more than ok no matter what happens.
And it seems as though in many cases, it's only when you've set yourself free that your S can come back. Gonna use a terrible analogy, but here goes: it makes me think of every time I've every waited for someone to pick me up from the airport. I call. I set up a time. And then I wait.
And wait.
And when I've finally given up, situated myself, and lit a cigarette, it's at that moment that the car pulls up.
In any case, you're doing a fabulous job!
I've been reading through your sitch slowly but surely, and I've really been inspired by your bravery and compassion. Enjoy those tango lessons, and I hope you have a wonderful weekend. You deserve it!