H going on yet another trip this weekend I think this is like his 10th in 2 years S7 called him this AM b/c he missed him son asked me to ask H to come over and spend a little time with son before his trip tomorrow I sad :
This is not about us son wanted me to ask you to visit this is about son and you I did it with no pressure just facts about what son wanted H gave no reply whether he was coming I left it in H hands to make choice told son I didnt know if H was coming I kept detached and said goodbye
h wound up coming to visit and I intuitively sense it was only b/c the way I asked with no control no expectation and not a need to know left it all up to H
this makes me realize how important giving up control is not to get H back b/c im done with the games I db for me now not for him I focused on my life my growth and kids my business H has a lot of work to do on him to catch up and I will not wait forever but perhaps we can be distant friends peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi peace- I think it pretty telling that your H never wants to take your kids on any of these trips he goes on. He can't think of anyone but himself...so MLC!!!...grrr!!!
Good for you for handling the conversation so well. So now you know when you talk to him, you get a better result if you don't pressure or guilt him in anyway.
Quote:
h wound up coming to visit and I intuitively sense it was only b/c the way I asked with no control no expectation and not a need to know left it all up to H
This is true for my H too. I seem to get a better response from my H when I leave things up to him...when we meet and even what we talk about. Unfortuantely, I don't have an easy time not pushing for answers. Thanks for the reminder.
I hope your S is feeling much better. You sound like you are doing well. Enjoy the holidays and try not to pay too much attention to what your H does.
He can't think of anyone but himself...so MLC!!!...grrr!!!