He also told her, that he would never say never and that in a few years after we had dated people that did not work out , that we may get back together ! WTF.
If you think that there is a possibility in the future, why can you not act on it now ? Am i misssing something.
Any hurt husbands out there , that might be able to offer some insight here ?
Hey M! Long time!
You are still fighting it. You have to evict him from your head.
Looking at your situation and this statement H made to your SIL... you know, I don't agree with the WTF comment. This might be hard to hear but I can understand your H's comment to his sister completely.
Not from the "hurt husband" perpsective, but just looking from the outside in.
I think the very fact that he said this is just gushing with hope for you and your H to reconcile. Really. It means he is thinking about it right now. Today. Right now. It means you can make a difference right now. You can get-a-life and look really good and be in shape and do all the stuff you would do to attract any man. Smell good, dress well, smile. And he will see you. He will see you indirectly, through contact with common friends. or through your SIL. or through the businesses or the kids. Or ... who knows.
His comment just shows that he is not sure, he is testing the waters. He felt really hurt by what you did, shocked even, and doesn't want that. He is running away from that. Take heart that he is not running toward another person. It's not "this person is my dream". It's "I need to get away from the hurt".
Guessing here.
You said, "Why can he not act on it today?" Frustrating, isn't it?
Healing takes time. Feelings take time to settle. These things take time.
If I were you I would be hopeful to have received that message from your SIL. Hopeful and encouraged. Re-double your efforts. Bolster your determination to get a life and be the best J you can be.
Maybe this is a test for you - did you ever consider that? Maybe this is a clear test for you to see if you truly can be faithful to him. He wants to test you (consciously or not) to see whether you are there for him. Like a rebellious teenager - they get tattoos and piercings to test their parents. It's not that they want a tattoo. They want to pique their parents' interest. I'm not trying to be flippant, but maybe this is a clear test to you, to see how serious you are about being faithful to him, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health.
If this is what is going on, you need to be faithful AND happy. Starting today. You need to be stronger than him and you need to evict him+OW from your head.
The path is long and hard, but you are on the right path!
