untying a few knots #9

[Tomato]

Hi sweetie - I hope you are radiating the goodness that you receive continuously from our Lord. Peace my sis.

[Tomato]

love ya sis

[kelaaron]

BG-I will say this. You are way to invested in making him happy. Amy has been a great mouth piece today and she is dolling out the exact things I would have said. You need to take care of you. What he does is what he does. Unfortunately, his history has shown you that he will do whatever he wants, no matter what he says to you. Who cares if OW loves him, he hasn't been faithful to either of you so if he goes to her, then she will learn that lesson the hard way and you will be able to move forward. If he stays, if you allow him to stay, the boundaries are set and that is it. The consequences have to be enforced as well (unless some EXTRAORDINARY circumstance were to occur). So you can't say he is breaking the rules already and then not follow through. Or he will continue to walk all over you.

Unless you feel the information is needed to make a choice, who cares what, when, etc... You already knew they were both liars. So BG, what do you want? What do you really want? You need to make that decision first. For BG, not for H or anyone else. Then you begin the work. Love you.

[Tomato]

and I was somewhat amazed at how you handled yourself earlier. only somewhat .. it is quite clear you are "managed" by Christ sweetie. Christ seems to be coursing through your veins. That is quite something.

I hope you rest peacefully tonight. You are amazing. Keep bring glory to our Father as you have been.

[Babygirl]

morning, didnt sleep well, up way to early, and get on here, and lookie what I have in my email box this morning...........




I pieced your email address together from memory just from seeing it on B's computer. I’m not sure if it’s right or not. I guess we’ll find out.

We can communicate this way if you prefer or you can call me anytime. I haven’t talked to him yet today so I’m not sure what the status of everything is from last night.



I would like to say I am so sorry. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you over the last 3 years. I’m sorry for letting it go on for so long. I’m sorry for being so stupid.



It’s going to take me a lot of time to get used to the new status quo. I haven’t felt like this in a really, really long time. I’m just not sure what’s going to happen next.

[marriedCrazy]

BG, my gut tells me that you do not need to be involved with this woman. What does she want from you? to be your friend? to have you as a babysitter? to play nice so that B can go from you to her and you won't mind?

I think it's good that she's trying to apologize for the hurt she's caused; but if she ain't trying to stop it,what good is the apology? It's like the bank robber apologizing for robbing the bank and telling them I'll be back next week to rob you again.

If she needs to make amends to you for what she's done, great; let her do it in an e-mail or phone call or in person, whatever you guys choose. But when that's done, I don't think that YOU should have any more contact.

I'll go back to our common theme here, Worry about BG and let H decide what he's going to do.

I'm praying for you. (((((BG)))))

Tom

[kelaaron]

Holy you know what BG. You will get this before i get a chance to call.

Do not get to comfortable with her. This woman at this moment is still someone to not be trusted. Talk yes but keep your guard up. Something wierd is brewing i think. So be careful.

[A in Ohio]

BG - Wow! Big step here. Just don't get off track. Change nothing!! This is very important and something I have trouble doing. Do not let anything change your course for now.

[Babygirl]

oh I dont want her as a friend, she is the enemy for sure!! i havent even responded. its weird. is it a test so she can say i tried to apologize and she didnt respond? I dont know what to do with it! its just sitting there, one thing she sure cant deny she knew my addy like she did before can she?

[Amy M]

So, BG...I have a quick story to help you keep things in perspective...

Before H announced that he was leaving me, his friend's H was killed in a tragic accident. OW, who I suspected as OW at the time, but didn't know for certain, came down to be with friend. We spent all week taking care of friend. One night, while we were there, OW starts talking to me about her M. She tells me that things have been tough, but they are working through their issues. She tells me that she's invited Christ into her life and that she's really excited for that. She even recommends a series of religious fiction books that I should read. And, goes so far as to explain that the first one is about a man having an A and his W standing for their M with faith that God would bring him home.

Now, I'm fairly perceptive. And, I left that night honestly believing that I had been wrong about her and H. I knew H had been involved with someone else, but after that discussion that night, I was convinced that it was not her and that she knew about the A because she and H were just friends (as he'd claimed all along).

So, 4 days later...yes, just 4 short days...she and H skipped work and took the boat out for the day while I was out of town. That was huge on many levels...H is all about the business; they were short staffed anyway cause of friend's H's death; my H was the only contact daycare had if something happened to my boys, etc., etc., etc. I'm now certain that when she and I had that convo., and we were "bonding" about our similar sitches, she and H had already planned the outing.

The bottom line is...the OW can't be trusted. She wants what you have. You don't need friends like her. You don't owe her anything. She's spent the last 3 years trying to take your family from you. Nothing she can tell you will make a difference now. You know everything you need to know already.

Don't respond to her email. Don't encourage her in any way. She's said all you need to hear.

Take care of you!!!

Love you!
Amy