ps: I want to make a comment on my outlook on my impending divorce. Lots of people on this site say, DB all you can, but when it comes to divorce, you gotta lawyer-up and fight. Well I am not doing that. I could have, and it could have been very ugly. I could have geared up to "win" in the divorce or even "fight for what is fair." But I kept thinking, none of this is fair, and I won't feel any better if I end up with more furniture or a little more of our joint assets.
So I haven't fought at all, in the traditional sense. I refused to get a lawyer. I had a lawyer but fired her 10 months ago. People think I am crazy. Maybe you do, too.
I refused to continue working with an attorney because I see what lawyers do. They are mercenaries and they are paid to fight. They suck money out of dying families. I don't want to fight, and I'd rather give the money to my kids than to my lawyer.
If someone comes up to me and punches me in the nose, I have a right to defend myself. But I could also walk away. I feel like I am walking away. And if her lawyer wants to punch me in the nose, then she will do it. And I will not retaliate.
I have not "fought back" in the traditional sense, but I have fought in other ways. I've fought the good fight. I worked hard on my relationship with my kids. I have not, ever, used them as a bargaining chip with her. I have not poisoned their relationship with her. I do not criticize her. I fight depression in myself. I fight bitterness and resentment inside me. I guard against it.
Just wanted to set the record straight.
I do not judge anyone who retains a lawyer to protect themselves. In some ways I would be much better off if I had done that.
