Thanks, gucci loafer! I'm trying to stay on the fast track. Hopefully it'll all work out.
You know, it's very true that it is quite early, and I do believe that this time is what we both need. We both skipped a stage or two on the road to adulthood and marriage, so I feel confident that this had to happen, and that it was the right thing. We need to grow and learn. We need to come together for the right reasons, as two adults who are comfortable in our own skin. I needed the time as much as him; I was just being less open about it.
And the truth is, if he never left, I never would have come to appreciate him and what we have as I do now.
The tricky, terrifying part is that perhaps we will come to separate epiphanies about who we are and who we should be with. I cannot help but feel in my heart that we are the right thing, the real thing. I knew it the first moment I saw him when I was just a kid (really, it happened). I also know I never would have been able to truly appreciate what we have without experiencing the loss.
It's funny, but I had knew that I would get him back in time - if I could be sure that we'd come together again in the right way, even if it meant being apart for a long time - it would be easy to let him go for this season. The problem is the permanent loss.
Ah well. This is life, and it only gets more difficult from here.
Doing ok on my goals. Didn't make it to the treadmill today, but I did tidy up a bit, avoided the mementos, talked to some friends about things not related to my life, and am going to try to put myself to bed in a few. Not too bad for today, and there's always tomorrow.....
Hopefully it'll all work out.
