no expectations 9

[peacetoday]

H going on yet another trip this weekend
I think this is like his 10th in 2 years
S7 called him this AM b/c he missed him
son asked me to ask H to come over and spend a little time with son before his trip tomorrow
I sad :

This is not about us
son wanted me to ask you to visit
this is about son and you
I did it with no pressure just facts about what son wanted
H gave no reply whether he was coming
I left it in H hands to make choice
told son I didnt know if H was coming
I kept detached and said goodbye

h wound up coming to visit and I intuitively sense it was only b/c the way I asked with no control
no expectation
and not a need to know
left it all up to H

this makes me realize how important giving up control is
not to get H back b/c im done with the games
I db for me now not for him
I focused on my life my growth and kids my business
H has a lot of work to do on him to catch up and I will not wait forever but perhaps we can be distant friends
peace