The long story of my WAH - need guidance and hope.

[lovehimso]

Hi Nasmat,

I haven't read your whole story (I will), but I was scanning some of your posts, and a couple of things caught my eye:

It's so difficult to be here. The halls are hollow and his ghost is everywhere

I made the mistake of coming home and flipping through some of our old love letters. I found his stash of my old letters and cards, and they broke my heart. I read letters he'd written me in Afghanistan and wanted to kick myself for being a stupid kid that was too proud to write him back except once in a blue moon.

These stood out to me only because I have been there, done that. I totally relate to the pain you are in. From what little I have read, though, you seem to be doing really well in the GAL department, so keep that up. It can only help you, especially if you can get OUT of that house.

I know from experience that sitting around and wallowing in a "haunted" house does nothing but make you feel even worse. Sometimes, you feel like you don't have a choice, and I do believe you need to allow yourself to feel the pain, so that you can really move forward. But don't do it for too long, okay? I did, and believe me, it didn't help. All it did was make every interaction with my H that much more painful, and it kept me in "pursuing" mode for far too long.