T2L, that is why we love you...You make soooo much sense. Your right if H moves in to OW house -- It is her house not his, and if we end up selling our house he will have nothing because it won't be enough for him to buy something. Also your right about the day to day living. H is a SLOB and OW is very neat and that would be a disaster. Great perspective. I am around also if you need a pep talk. 10 days is not a long time unless you are waiting. You are a doer and I know you are impatient but you are surviving one day at a time. Get that darn massage! I read this on rejoice ministries which gave me some insight on how our H's will do during Christmas. I modified it for space issues.
What Are Holidays Like For My Prodigal? In short, holidays are horrible out in the far country of life. Everything we see, hear, or do is a reminder of what life was like before our home was attacked by satan.
We prodigals attempt to deal with holidays in one of three ways. The most painful is to attempt to replicate our family’s traditions in our own miserable surroundings. Secondly, we may attempt to totally ignore the holidays. For prodigals where the enemy has planted another person into the picture, the prodigals may attempt to join in on his/her family’s holiday traditions. If you are a stander, rejoice when that happens. Rejoice? Yes, praise God that is taking place. Let me explain.
Have you ever noticed an adult in church for the first time in their life? They are uncomfortable as they attempt to do what everyone else is doing, without knowing the reason. That is what I was doing and I can promise you that is what your prodigal is experiencing at the family gatherings of that other person as well.
When the other woman’s extended family would gather, I was treated politely, but nevertheless as an outsider. I did not know the incidents they were talking about. I barely knew the people there, much less the grandmothers they spoke about.
If you want to see a dance called "The Prodigal Wiggle," let Uncle what’s-his-name start loudly telling old anecdotes about the other person’s spouse! The prodigal knows that family’s treadmill of tradition is about to flip them when good old Unc finished his story with, "I sure miss him/her not being here," and the prodigal is certain every set of eyes in the room is on them, silently wondering, "Why are you here? This is our family." I never attended an "other person" function that I did not feel totally out of place.
I left every holiday gathering in the far country nursing my wounds, after being flipped by another family’s treadmill of tradition. The salt in my wounds was hearing my children innocently report on "holiday as usual" at home, as Charlyne worked alone to carry on our family traditions. That, my friend, is one of those times when the Holy Spirit is quietly saying, "Why don’t you stop this foolishness and go home to your family?"
We prodigals think we are made of tough stuff and dismiss that urging, thinking the next far country treadmill trip will be different. The process is repeated over and over until finally we are beat up enough to go home.
Do you realize how many journeys toward home are started on holidays? For most prodigals, being flipped by the treadmill of tradition softens the heart. This Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year holidays, as God plants the urge to minister to your prodigal in your spirit, may you always seek His will and only His will for your direction.
I thought this was interesting and can only pray that is what happens. Stay strong.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
