I'm not Yellowrose but I can tell you that I had to fight becoming bitter toward H.
MLC can take an impossibly long time. After 3-1/2 years post-bomb, my H is still working his way through the tunnel.
There is an old saying about kids when they hit their teen years .. something like "Wake me up when it's over". I think the same could be said for MLC because it takes so dadgum long. Just wake me up when it's over and spare me all the grief in-between.
My grown son gave me a heckuva bad time during his teen years. He finally outgrew it and then my H fell into MLC with much of the same juvenile behavior. I keep telling myself that H will "outgrow" it, too. Hopefully.
By looking at it like it's a long teenage phase he's going through, it takes the personal sting out of H's bad behavior. Then I'm not so bitter.
H called me last night and asked what he could do to start repairing the damage he caused our grandkids. He said that he was AWOL for so long because he needed to punish himself. I'm well beyond DBing, so I told him that he had punished the kids and me as well by running away. He agreed. He wants to start taking small steps to repair the damage.
Waking up? Who knows? Tomorrow he might run again. It's a day by day process. I'm no longer bitter, just mystified at the way these MLCers justify their behavior. Val
