Didn't realize you had started a new thread after all the drama on your old one. Which may have been two ago at this point LOL.
LOL...Michelle I have hot and cold running drama on ALL my threads.
Interesting development: Paternity test is done and in the mail.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Don't know. They did a cheek swab thing, so I'm sure it'll be a couple of weeks.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
sugar... Im glad you had a decent time... Wow, a couple of wks.. that's a long time to wait. What do you honestly think???
I'm a dyed in the wool pessimist so until I know differently I will have to assume that it is his. Not that it will matter either way.
Today has been kinda hard. It was one year ago today that I found out he was "talking" to someone. I'm trying not to think or dwell on it, but I'm sure that those of you who have also been through it, that is easier said than done.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I know what you mean but it does get better. November, around Thanksgiving, is a difficult time since that is when I found about his first affair. Then 2 years ago he left right before the holiday but was over all of the time and then just after last year he filed for D, and this year he filed for bankruptcy. I could sit there and blame the month or the season or the holiday and yes it still may be hard later but really, I can't keep thinking about what HE did or continues to do. It is in the past, I am learning and I am moving on. Just in case you are wondering, I will admit I am not strong enough yet to look back on the book of our life together and not get a little upset. I am a bit raw still.
You too will get to this point if you allow yourself. Hugs.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Ok, so I finally said enough. Yesterday was a year and where are we a year later? The same place, only worse. I found some of the stuff that I wrote those first couple of days and came to the realization that not a damn thing has changed other than he know has a child with this woman.
So when we spoke on the phone last night I just told him that even though I understand that he has problems and that he is confused, I am no longer able to continue living this way. I made several points and the answer was always the same, "I don't know thats true." or the ever popular, "You are entitled to believe what you want to, but I don't think thats true." I basically told him that in no way was this an ultimatum or something to "make" him do anything. That I am going to do this for me. That I deserve someone to love and who will love me back. Someone that want me and only me. I told him that I am no longer able to listen to his words as they don't match his actions. We will give our children a nice Christmas and then he is free of me. He claims to be my friend, but he not only doesn't treat me like a friend, but he doesn't act like he likes me very much at all. There were several other things that basically boiled down to...goodbye, good luck and God bless you. I also said that if/when he ever gets his life straight and I'm still available, give me a call and maybe we can go out.
I tried you guys, I gave it everything I have and it wasn't enough. I'm many things and stupid is not one of them and when you love someone you don't spend all of your time and energy on someone else. I just had to get to a place where I was strong enough to do it. I could have let things go on the way they have been forever. I didn't even plan it, it just popped out and once I started I couldn't stop. He seems pretty upset, but I'm thinking that its more about him than it truly is about anything else. He did call me this morning and some of the above conversation came from that call, but I haven't heard from him since and I'm not calling him. I've said all I can.
Just wanted you all to know...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Sweetie, you did the right thing for YOU and the kids. That has to be your focus right now. He is not thinking about the long term ramifications of all of this right now. I am seeing many of us women grabbing back ourselves from the pit that our Hs have put us in. None of us are quitting, just moving forward for us. Our Hs can catch up when they are ready. Hopefully we will still be open to it.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
