Guys...chime in

[lovehimso]

As a man, I can ABSOLUTELY tell you that respect is what we crave, and that plays a whole, fascinating dynamic in the whole infidelity world . .

And I will say, from a woman's point of view, that we WANT to respect our man. But when our H does things that make us lose our respect for him, that's where a M runs into trouble.

Take my H, for example. My H complained that I didn't respect him. But he was addicted to pain meds, loaded more often than not, couldn't keep a job, didn't help with ANYTHING around the house, spent money like crazy on a bunch of sh** we didn't need, eventually stopped working altogether and spent a full year basically just sleeping and watching Lord of the Rings, wasn't involved in our kids' lives, became irritable and angry, let his health go to sh**,and generally behaved like an a-hole.

And I was supposed to RESPECT the guy? I mean, I still loved him because I remembered the man he used to be, and still believed he could be ressurected, if only my H wanted him to be, and did the work, but RESPECT? Not the way he was acting.

So, I'm sorry, but if my H left me for OW because he needed respect and felt that I wasn't giving it to him, well, he needs to take a long look in the mirror. Respect is earned, and he didn't earn it. He had my respect in the beginning, but lost it, and for good reason. If he felt like he shouldn't have to earn it back, well then whatever. Maybe I am better off...

OH, and if he thinks that I should respect him NOW, after what he has done to me with his abandonment and his A, then he is just delusional. I would respect a man who would actually "man up" and take responsibility for what he is doing, but he actually has the nerve to tell me that he doesn't believe he is cheating on me, because he LEFT me, and that his only mistake was not divorcing me before he started sleeping with OW. How's THAT for a crap-bag?