I suggest that you have your L put together a sweetheart deal for yourself, and get it in front of your wife as soon as possible. Full custody for you, child support FROM her, and a very short-term rehabilitative alimony for her.
It's time to stop being her friend (be friend-LY, but not her friend) and to take care of your interests and those of your kids. There's a reason they put that little "v" in between the parties' names -- sadly or not, it's ADVERSARIAL, and you need to get steeled for it. I have never met a single person -- nor even HEARD of one -- who later regretted that they were TOO firm.
Quite the contrary.
Puppy
I agree with PDT whole heartedly here..go for it all and you will get it..
